When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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