If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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