he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
