she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
