So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
