Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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