I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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