I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
