You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
