MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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