when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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