i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
