I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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