if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?