Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(931): View more from Tennessee

she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga

Replies (14) Good night (5258) Bad night (1128)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng

Replies (9) Good night (3584) Bad night (764)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas. http://tfl.nu/4atb

Replies (19) Good night (1447) Bad night (4468)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS. http://tfl.nu/ppbc

Replies (63) Good night (6869) Bad night (831)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool. http://tfl.nu/mdau

Replies (13) Good night (4551) Bad night (1059)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home. http://tfl.nu/7itp

Replies (2) Good night (2211) Bad night (925)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y

Replies (9) Good night (4430) Bad night (1597)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done. http://tfl.nu/4ilz

Replies (13) Good night (1097) Bad night (3160)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk

Replies (4) Good night (4481) Bad night (798)
Favorite
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(780): So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays http://tfl.nu/zrwo

Replies (3) Good night (1235) Bad night (647)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf

Replies (13) Good night (2345) Bad night (783)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el

Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (584)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

her dad gauges his nipple piercings.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): her dad gauges his nipple piercings. http://tfl.nu/b294

Replies (8) Good night (530) Bad night (1705)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty. http://tfl.nu/ysw1

Replies (3) Good night (1116) Bad night (483)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me.. http://tfl.nu/vhak

Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (413)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard