Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon http://tfl.nu/3qwx

Replies (4) Good night (1200) Bad night (634)
Favorite
(931): View more from Tennessee

I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(931): I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes http://tfl.nu/c6hz

Replies (17) Good night (1068) Bad night (2092)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr

Replies (23) Good night (936) Bad night (7625)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser. http://tfl.nu/232e

Replies (24) Good night (1929) Bad night (8253)
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr

Replies (13) Good night (2067) Bad night (4411)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college. http://tfl.nu/9le9

Replies (14) Good night (7018) Bad night (1004)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god. http://tfl.nu/4xu8

Replies (3) Good night (1319) Bad night (1056)
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear http://tfl.nu/60vm

Replies (11) Good night (2277) Bad night (863)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx

Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (686)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous. http://tfl.nu/8pll

Replies (15) Good night (1483) Bad night (588)
Favorite
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(780): When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/go1c

Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (499)
Favorite
(858): View more from California

The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1

Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (303)
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8

Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (419)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up http://tfl.nu/yx6y

Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (365)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical http://tfl.nu/bb5y

Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (276)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard