So drunk its hurt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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