Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
