Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c

Replies (3) Good night (1846) Bad night (676)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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(317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq

Replies (31) Good night (5387) Bad night (611)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

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(828): Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/vvox

Replies (13) Good night (4303) Bad night (715)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

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(828): That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library http://tfl.nu/vcd5

Replies (5) Good night (3921) Bad night (928)
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(636): View more from Missouri

The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.

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(636): The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen. http://tfl.nu/0t44

Replies (8) Good night (2933) Bad night (973)
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(740): View more from Ohio

You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

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(740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl

Replies (11) Good night (3111) Bad night (853)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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(815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb

Replies (8) Good night (1979) Bad night (564)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?

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(615): Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night? http://tfl.nu/hddi

Replies (11) Good night (1912) Bad night (453)
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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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(207): I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine.... (617): This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs. http://tfl.nu/5fub

Replies (12) Good night (2957) Bad night (786)
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(310): View more from California

Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

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(310): Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul http://tfl.nu/k128

Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (494)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

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(989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll

Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (270)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.

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(306): That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives. http://tfl.nu/0tdc

Replies (5) Good night (426) Bad night (210)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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(706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0

Replies (2) Good night (236) Bad night (923)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (10) Good night (412) Bad night (347)
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(214): View more from Texas

Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.

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(214): Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars. http://tfl.nu/9ba1

Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (406)

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