Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Is this the I'm gay speech?

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  (609): Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself (1-609): Is this the I'm gay speech? http://tfl.nu/ywd1
  Replies (2) Good night (2092) Bad night (708)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

  (818): View more from California

  oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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  (206): ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer (818): oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good http://tfl.nu/hoy9
  Replies (43) Good night (873) Bad night (4607)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i hate you

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  (330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you http://tfl.nu/9cj0
  Replies (43) Good night (22918) Bad night (1844)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?

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  (+44): Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night? http://tfl.nu/4ztl
  Replies (10) Good night (3462) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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  (949): Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later. http://tfl.nu/ckzf
  Replies (10) Good night (2447) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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  (978): Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts http://tfl.nu/t2mu
  Replies (6) Good night (3069) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (2023) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

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  (901): Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking. http://tfl.nu/5z7b
  Replies (11) Good night (1373) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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  (321): I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever. http://tfl.nu/o4s7
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...

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  (706): I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up... http://tfl.nu/4p4z
  Replies (8) Good night (1526) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.

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  (734): Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday. http://tfl.nu/wg8e
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (307)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul

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  (406): Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul http://tfl.nu/bbxf
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"

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  (304): He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance" http://tfl.nu/4970
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  someone needs to name a hurricane after you

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  (919): someone needs to name a hurricane after you http://tfl.nu/pqzo
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.

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  (919): I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot. http://tfl.nu/jowl
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (268)

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