I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I want is dick and wine.
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