'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
