On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
