Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
