i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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