Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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