1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
