Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
