At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
