there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
