You're so nebulous sometimes
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
