Buhtt sex?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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