she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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