would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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