every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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