Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
