Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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