Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
