captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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