So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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