So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
