my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
