you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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