Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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