Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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