he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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