Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
