we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
