that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
