I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
