I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
