The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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