I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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