That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
where does the pee come out of this thing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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