I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
