"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I could fuck to npr.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
