I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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