my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
