i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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