wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
