I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I die, sorry about rent.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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