The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
