he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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