i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
