Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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